Saturday, June 12, 2010

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Well It's About Time!

So yeah, it's been 6 months since my last confession. I mean, it's been six months since my last blogging. The thought of this post actually came to me while waiting in line for confession before Christmas. My thoughts of blogging followed my thinking of confession. "I'll go next weekend." I kept telling myself, making excuses for why "it" could wait. I thought, that while not ready for cannonization, my sould was not in grave danger, so "it could wait."

But then the thought, opportunity, and inspiration came at the same time and I made my way to
St. Paul's Cathedral where my friend Fr. Kim Schreck is stationed. There was a Reconcilliation Service scheduled for Friday night. I choose a seat, atypical of me, in the back, near Fr. Kim's confessionial. There were already two women who had obviously chosen their seats, just in front of me, for the same reason.

As other sinners entered the church I kept a watchful eye on the front, hoping to see Fr. Kim, despite my distance from the altar, and the main support beams that blocked my view. Others chose their seats in the front which gave me some assurance that I would not have to wait too long once the sin bin opened and us sinners could get some work done.

Once the scripture-filled service made way for the work of forgiveness, those people who had sat up front made their way to the pews near the various confessionals. To my dismay, my fellow humbletons rushed to the pews in front of my silent sin friends and I, who had placed ourselves strategically near the booth from the beginning.

Some smiled at me humbly as they cut in line, and I gave them no smile, but decided that scouling at them in church would just add to my list of sins. I held myself in my seat, telling myself to be patient, trying to increase my virtue dispite myself. Soon Fr. Kim made his way to his station and the Sacramental Relief got underway.

My heart and head played a game of mental & spiritual ping pong between prayer and impatience until I was in the batters circle and a "it's about time" sigh escaped my lips.

That's when it dawned on me.

My Lord could have said the same thing to me, would have every right to think the same thing about my delay, my spiritual procrastination for the last few months. But He didn't. He waited patiently for me with love. He pointed no fingers, (for accusation is the devil's task) made no sarcastic remarks, said nothing to the effect of "it's about time." He sat in a sin bin, with no expectations, in the priesthood of Fr. Kim, ready to offer holy relief, humble correction, and edifying advise. Next time, this time, I won't wait so long.

"...he is patient with you, not wishing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance."
~2 Peter 3:9

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Baby Sister

On June 28th early early in the morning, my little sister gave birth to Zoe's little sister. Some of you are concerned with weight 9 lbs 3 oz, and length (we can't really call it height as of yet) 19 3/4", while others of you will be more interested to hear that she looks a lot like Zoe, and is pretty mellow. She doesn't cry much, and while my human growth and development class taught me that most movements at this age are simply reflexes, I choose to believe that she smiles often. On this, her fifth day of life on the outside she is really starting to look like herself and she is beautiful. For those of you who don't like books with lots of words, here are the pictures.

While being a big sister is always hard, especially in the beginning, Zoe is doing her best to share. She likes to hold her baby sister for a few moments and does her best not to poke but to be gentle and touch the baby's "soft hair". I try not to cry when Zoe crys, finding it hard to share mommy, or when she sings: "I love you, I love you, I love you, baby sister". I try not to laugh when Zoe offers to share her taco or milk.

My sister is a great mom, doing her best to make sure that the big sister knows that she is loved very much. My brother-in-law is a super dad, involved in every aspect of his growing family. I am blessed to be here to watch the flower of this family open to grow in beauty, receive this new life, and become something it was not just a few days ago.

Friday, June 6, 2008

Black In Blue

This is an article that I wrote for the SJP parish bulletin. Thought you might like it.

Can you find me?

After six and a half years, twelve classes for thirty six credits, thirty eight books and twenty nine papers written, I have finally finished my graduate work in Religious Education. So on May 2nd I made my way to the Palumbo Center to receive my degree and hear a special message from Jerome Bettis, our keynote speaker. It was very exciting. My family came in from out of town, special plans were made and a good friend and classmate of mine let me borrow the cap, gown and hood that she wore at her graduation last year. It was feeling like a very special day. I walked briskly and felt a bit taller as I made my way from the parking lot to the graduation ceremony. I thought it interesting that so many people from the School of Pharmacy were going in the same direction. I had seen their special cap and gown in the bookstore when I went to buy my tassel. They were bright blue with a Duquesne University emblem on one shoulder and “School of Pharmacy” embroidered on the other. I wasn’t in the School of Pharmacy so I wore the tradition black cap, gown and hood, like my friend had the year before. What I didn’t realize was that for some reason Duquesne wasn’t using the tradition black this year, for any school. So yes, of the hundreds of people graduating, I was the only one in black. Boy did I feel stupid, and awkward, and uncomfortable. Everyone was looking at me a bit funny. I could hear them laughing behind my back. No one would talk to me or even stand near me. I felt like that kid who sits at a lunch table all by herself. I wondered how many times I had shot that kind of look at someone who seemed weird, or different, or annoying. I felt like I had switched places, if only for a moment, with someone who had been looked down upon and judged for the way they look. It was like I was the poor person in a room full of wealthy people, the stranger in a room full of friends, or the doubter in a room full of churchy people. But there was nothing I could do about it and the color of my gown didn’t change the fact that I had worked very hard to earn my degree. My discomfort, others’ looks and comments could only ruin the day if I let it. So when people asked me why I was in black I just said: “I didn’t get the memo” and laughed it off. The upside was that my family had no problem finding me; the black dot in the sea of blue. I also took comfort in the fact that I saved the $85 it would have cost to purchase an outfit that would have soon become part of a land fill or costume closet. So I’ll take my $85 and fill my gas tank twice and buy myself a latte! But most of all I will be aware of the way I look at and speak to those who might seem different than me, knowing that inside they have the potential to reflect the Light of the Spirit, just like I do.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Silly Hats

After 6.5 years, twelve classes for thirty six credits, thirty six books and twenty nine papers, I have finally finished my masters degree in religious education. My family came into town to help me celebrate. Their presence made the weekend extra special. Zoe had a great time clapping for everyone, but couldn't get over our "silly hats".

I'm just glad to be done. However, I believe that I may suffer from PTGSD. Post Traumatic Grad School Disorder. I'm still worrying about homework, and have started to plan weekends around when I'll be in the library. My caffeen in take has not regulated and I still look to see if my book bag is in the car before I leave the house each day.

It's certainly NOT that I miss it. I guess it will be a while until it all sinks in. I have made a few resolutions for my post graduate life...

1. Stop going to class & writting papers - so far so good
2. Play my guitar more - i now have a madolin (thank you G,D & Z!) so the intraments now compete like angry simbling for my time.
3. Get back into shape - I haven't decided what shape I like best yet, but the
4. Buy a house - well I ahve to find one I like first.

So I'm off to a good start for whatever comes next.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

The Masters: A Few More Shots

Yes I'm stalling. Yes I only have 4 pages of a 12 papge paper (that is due on Tuesday) done. But I also have things to cross off The Masters List! Yehaa! Check back soon for the grad fanalie. Here's how it looks...
Class 1 - TOB
>6 journal entries - DONE & GONE!
>one 12 page research paper - topic: The Adequate Anthropology of the TOB. - DONE & GONE!
Class 2 - TOB Independant Study
>one 12 page research paper comparing and relating the writtings of St. Teresa of Avila to John Paul II's writing on the Theology of the BodyAll of the TOB work must be in the mail to my prof by April 14th so that he can grade it and get my credits in to transfer by April 25.
Class 3 - Catechesis of Adults - Duquesne

1. Take home essay 1 (6 pages) - DONE! (completely)
2. Take home essay 2 (6 pages) - DONE! (completely)
3. Adult Faith Formation Learning Project (due April 8)- DONE! (completely)
a. attend 4 adult faith formation session- DONE!
b. create 4 journals- DONE!
c. 8 page paper- DONE!
4. Resource Review (2-3 pages) (due April 22)

Ok I'm going to get some coffee and get back to the library. You know you spend too much time in the library when you start talking to the books. Hmmm.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Easter 08

This is the first year that I've been in Texas for Easter. I had heard of the San Fernando Passion play from one of my professors and I was excited to see it for myself. See my post on "Passing On The Passion" for pictures and thoughts (coming or later).

Being with my family and sitting in the sun gave me a much needed break from my rainy days in the library. I loved spending time with Melissa and Daniel even though the time was brief. I so appreciate being able to go from "hello to deep" in 2.5 seconds.
Zoe and I had some quality big sister time. I explained to her that when the baby cries that he or she is hungry or has a wet diaper. Either that or they are trying to blame you for something that you didn't do. I told her that whatever the case the appropriate action is to run and hide.

We also had a great time walking like giaraffs, doggies, hoursies and flying like birdies. We played the harmonica and read books. Ah the imagination is such a wonderful place. I hope to visit there often.

Two of the coolest things about this trip were watching Zoe eat her first (and second) chocolate.
And watching her run for the first time (my first not hers). We would run and giggle at the joy of "racing".