This is an article that I wrote for the SJP parish bulletin. Thought you might like it.
Can you find me?After six and a half years, twelve classes for thirty six credits, thirty eight books and twenty nine papers written, I have finally finished my graduate work in Religious Education. So on May 2nd I made my way to the Palumbo Center to receive my degree and hear a special message from Jerome Bettis, our keynote speaker. It was very exciting. My family came in from out of town, special plans were made and a good friend and classmate of mine let me borrow the cap, gown and hood that she wore at her graduation last year. It was feeling like a very special day. I walked briskly and felt a bit taller as I made my way from the parking lot to the graduation ceremony. I thought it interesting that so many people from the School of Pharmacy were going in the same direction. I had seen their special cap and gown in the bookstore when I went to buy my tassel. They were
bright blue with a Duquesne University emblem on one shoulder and “School of Pharmacy” embroidered on the other. I wasn’t in the School of Pharmacy so I wore the tradition black cap, gown and hood, like my friend had the year before. What I didn’t realize was that for some reason Duquesne wasn’t using the tradition black this year, for any school. So yes, of the hundreds of people graduating, I was the only one in black. Boy did I feel stupid, and awkward, and uncomfortable. Everyone was looking at me a bit funny. I could hear them laughing behind my back. No one would talk to me or even stand near me. I
felt like that kid who sits at a lunch table all by herself. I wondered how many times I had shot that kind of look at someone who seemed weird, or different, or annoying. I felt like I had switched places, if only for a moment, with someone who had been looked down upon and judged for the way they look. It was like I was the poor person in a room full of wealthy people, the stranger in a room full of friends, or the doubter in a room full of churchy people. But there was nothing I could do about it and the color of my gown didn’t change the fact that I had worked very hard to earn my degree. My discomfort, others’ looks and comments could only ruin the day if I let it. So when people asked me why I was in black I just said:
“I didn’t get the memo” and laughed it off. The upside was that my family had no problem finding me; the black dot in the sea of blue. I also took comfort in the fact that I saved the $85 it would have cost to purchase an outfit that would have soon become part of a land fill or costume closet. So I’ll take my $85 and fill my gas tank twice and buy myself a latte! But most of all I will be aware of the way I look at and speak to those who might seem different than me, knowing that inside they have the potential to reflect the Light of the Spirit, just like I do.
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And watching her run for the first time (my first not hers). We would run and giggle at the joy of "racing".
